i can only assume...

this urinal, just outside of the Cubs' dugout, is where Moises Alou did most of in-season callus building. i imagine due to the unfortunate placement of the spigot, below and off to the left of the urinal, that the grounds crew also have piss tough paws..

Felix Pie's

Testicular Torsion!

And people were shocked when Alou peed on his hands...

Maddux?

"Maddux? For a guy with a CPA's demeanor, he has a sense of humor that a 12-year-old would envy. Maddux is a master of strategically timed nose picking, sidling up to an unsuspecting rookie in the shower and urinating on the kid's leg, and inventing just the right nickname for a teammate with big ears, a prominent schnozz or some other pronounced physical qualities. "